Just Write

So far, this little project of daily blogging has been nightmarish. I signed up on a whim to do it, and I knew if I signed my name I’d have to stick to it. That’s kind of how it works for me. I’ve been wanting to write more, but my schedule doesn’t really allow it. On top of that, I’m working on the largest issue of the year for our magazine, and that means working up to 12-hour days. And then coming home to do the mom thing. And then cleaning and cooking and paying bills and maintaining my life both digitally (I owe you one, Mr. BlackBerry) and in the physical world. Not to mention my other blog. I cannot remember what it’s like to sleep. All because of this little project. I feel like I’m in school again; except I produced some valuable material in college.

After visiting the sites of many other bloggers, I quickly became irritated. Irritated at the layout of my blog, the privacy debacle and whether I wanted to post a photo, and the fact that all the other writers signed up for this thing are marketing their business. I just write. And I’ve yet to showcase my writing skills because I’m so preoccupied with everything else that by the time I get to write, it’s already 11:25 p.m. Every night. That gives me approximately 30 minutes to write a post and get it published and send the notice to Jeanette Cates.

Today one of my co-workers asked, “Have you noticed traffic picking up to your blog since you started this?”

I said, “No. But only because I’m not advertising it. Everything I’ve written has been crap. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone to read it.”

I spent hours this evening trying to redesign my site. I looked at approximately 350 layouts. Not one of them fit me. I’m a dancer who writes. And I hate the color pink. And again, I’m not selling anything. And I have an immense amount of style — none of which was exemplified in the 350 layouts I perused. And I have very short, blond, spiky hair — not long brown hair.

Nothing. I found nothing to suit me. Am I that difficult to satisfy? Or, as my prince discovered about himself last night, maybe I’m just “one of a kind”? I mean, I have to look at this thing every day — at least for the next 26 days. And I might be the only one, so it should be pleasing to my eyes. It should feel like home.

Then I did the unthinkable, intolerable thing as far as I’m concerned: I settled. I found one that would get by. I just don’t understand how the mother of all blog site hosts would only have less than 100 layouts from which to choose. Seriously? Why did I have to go to other sites to find a layout? Even then I found nothing. At first I settled on one from an outside source, but then I saw the price tag. Forget it. What you see is what you get. For now.

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  1. Saylor,
    Can you remember DUMBO? or Chicken Little,or the Little Train Choo Choo that said I think I can, I think I can .You are all Three, I Know I can I know I can ,and the sky is not falling
    your my little girl that can do it all.and Yes you can fly by wiggling your ears if you set your mind to it.

    How about wiggling your toes?

    I LOVE YOU Dad

  2. Hi Dad!
    Talk about a sock-it-to-me surprise moment. I was so happy to see you’d dropped by here.

    Thank you. I love you. And this little note you wrote will never leave me. Glued to my heart.

    And just like that, I’m soaring. I’m wiggling these big Dumbo ears and flying for you, my strong tower.


  3. Dearest Auntie,

    Keep your head up. Remember, you found Jett! Miss you a lot, love you more!

    (I want a nickname too!)

  4. And there’s another one, folks.

    Thanks, “Doc.” I love you and I miss you, too. You know you’re a significant part of Jett’s journey. That is also glued to my heart.

    Yup…gonna need a new laptop. But, I have to give it credit; it’s one sturdy little sucker to hold its own against today’s tear trail.